What a wonderful bubble we have lived in for the last 365 days......
Although I have been longing for the day of NO homework going on in the craziness of this household, I found myself mourning the loss of his schedule. It's been a wonderful year of family time. Even though most of Jesse's every waking minute was spent doing homework-he was still around. We could see him. I could talk to him. And most importantly, I could go to the grocery store alone! My glorious family bubble bursted when his new job called him in to "shadow" over his time off. I know, I can't be upset since we are coming off such a great year and Jesse is so excited to start his time on the Hill. But familiar feelings start gushing back and I can't help but mold into them:
- Long Hours
- Trip Traveling
- Work Phone Back
Yes, I know. There is nothing to complain about. He isn't deploying, he is just entering the world of DC. I will let you know what is worse......!! I will just miss my bubble of family time.
On another note, I don't know if any of you have ever watched the movie called Brothers with Jake Gyllenhaal and Toby McGuire. It is about a military family that goes through the course of a deployment that ends with tragedy. This movie came out awhile ago and I remember seeing the previews...thinking to myself that I will NEVER watch it. It just seemed to real. Well, yesterday, my husband turned it on through Net Flix. I didn't want to watch it, I just couldn't get myself to move away from the TV.
There were several parts of it which I thought were a bit far-fetched and made the wife look bad. Why is it such a common cliche for the wife to be kissing another man?? I will never understand that. But what really got to me the most was watching the parts that took place in Afghanistan. What ended up getting Jesse was watching the wife call her husband's voicemail to just listen to his voice (done that), smelling his shirts (done that), leaving his boots by the door (done that), answering the kids' questions about the absence of their Dad (done that), the pure fear of 2 men in uniform at your door (don't ever want that), and not wanting to open the last letter he had written to her.
When the movie was over, I sat shaken by the whole viewing experience. Could this really be the world my husband goes into? Every time he leaves me for deployments, I picture him just sitting behind his desk, never leaving his safe place. Yes, I have a visual in my head of him in this very thick, protected bubble. That is how I have found I am able to cope with the scariness of his profession. Denial. This movie made my denial look foolish. He doesn't sit behind a desk, you idiot...I thought to myself.
I just had to ask him ( I couldn't stop myself) at that moment if he thought the movie was on point. Since there are several military movies that are very Hollywood. (Side note: Jesse doesn't talk much about deployments. Only random facts come out at different times, like something is triggered. I wait for him to share and I do not push the subject often). He looked right at me and said, "Yes, this movie is very real."
Wow. Scary. Didn't need to see that. Can't get it out of my head. And I wish at that point I would have stopped asking Jesse "what would you have done differently" questions.
I wish I never watched it and would like to go back to my idiot bubble. My dear Army girlfriends...stay away from this movie! Thanks.
Anywho, Jesse is welcomed back into the world of Army. Although, this welcome back is much different from the Army life we are used to. Meaning no uniform and no deployments for another year. I might not want this bubble to burst either.
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